PISS-TEST (Philosophically Intensive Social Studies-Test of Education for Students of Taiwan)

SEE IF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO PASS DR. JANSEN’S LATEST EXAM…THE PISS-TEST (PHILOSOPHICALLY INTENSIVE SOCIAL STUDIES-TEST of EDUCATION for STUDENTS of TAIWAN)

INTRODUCTION:

As a professional social studies teacher in an American overseas highschool, I consider it my personal responsibility to prepare my Taiwanese students for entrance into American Universities. It is my sincerest hope and desire to give them the academic tools they will need in order to be successful as they face the rigors of an academic career in a foreign country. But this is no small task. Therefore, I have developed a social studies exam that will not only test their social studies knowledge, but also their philosophical and psychological aptitude.

There are 3 essay questions and only one multiple choice question. Because I want to develop a test that is fair yet subjective and challenging, I invite you to read this exam and give me your honest feedback.

TEST

QUESTION #1

Please write 2 separate essays (minimum 25 pages each) on the concept of “substantial insubstantiality.” Prepare a well-developed thesis for each essay, and make sure they contradict eachother.

QUESTION #2

As a Taiwanese student attending your first year of college in a foreign country, you will face many challenges. Which of the following do you feel will cause you the most difficulty?

A) the sudden onset of emotionally charged, truculent spontaneity

B) loneliness caused by the turbulent effects of circumstantial randomness and the often resulting velocity of hideously deconstructive triangular expansion

C) depressions that are known to follow from initial acknowledgement of the non-permanence of continuously accumulating insignificant (yet abruptly restrictive) daily occurrences of conflictive reversibility

OR…

D) confused feelings caused by either chronic perpetual awareness of consumptively ludicrous deniability … or possibly even pre-mature neurotic rejection of prominently-manifestive eventuality and the accompanying realization of undeniably absurd congruency.

(please be honest in your response…your answers will be kept confidential)

*Special Note:
I will hold an after-hours session in my office for those students who have not prematurely (or neurotically) rejected the notion of prominently manifestive eventuality and still feel that they are capable of attaining fidelity with undeniably absurd congruency…yet find themselves emotionally vulnerable because they have difficulty accepting deniably incongruent absurdity

QUESTION #3

A) Please write a brief essay of about 200 words in which you discuss the philosophical foundations, as well as the intricate theoretical underpinnings, of the argument posed by post-modern anti-nihilists that the outbreak of the American Civil War, the formation of the “red spot” on Jupiter, and the discovery that the Lockness Monster is fake…are, in fact, the 3 most important events in human history and that these 3 events are not random, but significantly related to eachother in terms of their political, social, and religious implications.

B) Examine the causes and effects of these 3 events, describe how each event relates to the other 2, and explain how these 3 events have had an impact in your life and how you perceive that they will affect your future relationships. Throughout your essay, be sure to cite specific examples based on the empirical research findings of 4 scientists, 5 theologians, and 7 rehabilitated alcoholic ex-Catholic Protestants, 4 of whom have performed at least one exorcism at one point in their careers.

*(if this essay goes beyond the 200 word limit, your grade will drop by 25%)

and finally…

QUESTION #4

What does Blue smell like?

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